Today is 06.23.2009
It's been 23 days since I came home from my trip.
I had alot of time to think.. reflect about the whole trip.
from the beginning to the end of the trip.
what have I accomplished?
How do I feel about it now?
I don't know...
there's too much going on inside of my head right now.
While reflecting upon the trip
I couldn't really tell who I am. What I am. What I need to be. What I want to do.
I mean... I always knew... and still know What life is about.
but all of sudden.. right before I started to write this down....
I had to stop and ask "What is this thing we call life?"
what's the whole reason and purpose of living?
I know the answer for it. and I feel it. I understand with my brain and my heart.
but I had to ask one more time.
Just to remind myself... who I am, what I am, what I want to do, and what I need to do.
So... before the trip.
I told myself that I'll come up with 10 different theme.
take pictures of everything I eat, every where I go, photos of myself everymorning and all...
but, I don't think I really followed any of the things I said I would do.
I thought being on the road would be the easiest thing ever...
no plans were needed...
no destinations were needed.
I thought I could just do all as they come.
no need to worry about tomorrow.
but do things as they come.
I started the trip because I wanted to see more things
meet more people to learn about life and love
and get away from the routine that I had.
same thing over and over... day after day...
but soon enough...
I created a pattern for myself on the road...
I started to find things that were comfortable and easy...
Rather than challenging myself to do what I said I would do.
I found things that made the trip easier...
made my physical body comfortable...
and started to follow those.
I found myself being lazy... day after day...
because I didn't have anything that I had to do.
Might sound a little weird, but I had too much freedom
I could go out and take pictures if I wanted.
Or I could just stay at one place for hours and do nothing...
Even though I had same boring routine that I was following everyday at home...
I was going to some places at certain time. and do things in certain way.
but on the road...
it was basically me... all by myself... without anyone watching or telling me...
then...
I started to ask questions to myself.
I started to ask questions that I already had answers to...
I just asked...
to see if I had any different answers for them.
but everytime I asked anything... the answers did not change.
I was just telling myself all the things I had known.
or maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better...
justifying my actions... and thoughts...
I don't know...
but every moment...
I couldn't stop thinking about possible miseries
I couldn't stop thinking about possible failures
I couldn't stop thinking about unknown mysteries that I will be facing.
I wanted to find out what was coming.
What's going to happen next...
I wanted to see the future...
I wanted to know if I can make everything I said I would..
Soon, I realized thinking about future is pointless.
and thinking too much won't solve or bring anything.
but, make one go crazy and dpressed.
Because everything I needed and need have always been right there infront of me.
the Present.
the gift I received everyday.
the fact that I was able to wake up and see another day
that's all I needed
I can't control the future
I can't change the past.
But, I can do things at the moment...
When I realized that... my trip became so much better.
It was 'gooder' than the average!
Took me awhile to actually realize and grasp what I was looking for
and that changed everything...
I started to see the beauty in every little thing.
I was able to feel happy and excited
as who I really am...
someone... who loves to laugh... loves to talk... and loves to see... and loves to meet people
It's rather hard for people to actually find something they love doing and do it everyday without regretting their decision.
and do it so they get so much joy out of it.
I...
I know what I love doing...
that's to photograph.
photograph every moment of our lives...
happiness, sadness, love, hate, and everything that deals with our lives...
I've never regretted the decision I made to become a photographer.
and I am still in love with everything about it.
Everyday, I realized how challenging life can be.
Everyday, I realized how easy it is to misinterpret everything about everything.
But everyday, I realized how beautiful the life is because of all that.
and That's what I have understood on this trip.
to seize every opportunity I get to make myself better
to meet as many people I can to understand about love and life
to be grateful for every moment I receive to do things I enjoy doing.
my trip was becoming somewhat challenging in the middle...
but, the realization I had made everything clear..
I felt so delightful about the opportunity that I was given.
to be able to travel
and do what I love doing.
Traveling with my friend Justin helped me realize the importance of living together....
Living for the sake of the others.
Putting others before myself.
As challenging as it can be...
living with people is the most beautiful thing that one can ever experience.
The world does not revolve around just one person. never.
This life is not possible without everyone that we live with.
To have someone who you can share the beauty with
and to share the idea with is just too precious.
I was lucky to have such an amazing person to go on this trip with.
he taught me so much that I did not know about myself.
he taught me how to deal with situations that I've never had to deal with
he helped me grow as a person... to be able to understand the person as who they are.
Of course, sometimes I wish the person was someone special than a brother.
Meeting countless numbers of amazing people...
people with stories and amazing heart...
people with dreams and hopes...
that's one thing that I can't never be thankful enough of...
each person taught me something I've never realized.
everyone helped me appreciate the life that I have.
all the encouragement I've received helped me finish this trip.
and I'm looking forward to meet more people.
that's what I live my life for now...
to see the dreams and hopes of people come true...
Seeing all these amazing world that was given to us...
such as beautiful mountains, gorgeous rivers, clear skies, endless ocean....
and of course, the rain, snow, storm, and all the natural disasters that add contrasts to the creation
made me feel so humble about myself...
a very tiny thing compare to our mother nature...
I had nothing compare to them.
But, the mother nature provide us with everything we need to survive.
and give us the beauty in the most simple things.
Clear blue sky... after one horrific storm...
One puffy cloud... in big empty blue sky...
snow flakes falling down to cover the earth white...
Heavy rain to wash away all the dirt on the earth...
and bright sun to dry everything up to get a new fresh start.
from tiny clovers to gigantic redwoods...
God has created everything just for us to learn and enjoy...
I am very thankful that I was able to experience this beauty....
I am just a tiny person who has a big dream of becoming a photographer...
Now, the trip is over...
it's time for me to take a deep breathe and start something new.
something bigger than ever.
I had this opportunity to experience something not so many people have chance to.
It's time for me to give back everything I've received.
the love... the beauty... the life...
Now, I know who I am...
My name is SungJoon Koo
My dream is to become a photographer...
a photographer who will show people
the love... the beauty... and the life we are living...
to give each and everyone hope for the tomorrow
and help them realize what's really important in our lives.
Be grateful of what we have...
tomorrow will come after today...
and how good that tomorrow will be
can only be result by how good today is.
I won't let anyone stop me from doing what I love.
I'll take all the chances I get to fulfill what I love doing.
and be grateful that I have a brand new day to live.
This is what I have realized from my trip started
3month... 92 days... 03.01.09 ~ 05.31.09
I spent 1/4 of a year on the road...
and I've lived about 1/4 of my entire life...
so, I have 3/4 to go to fulfill everything.
I'm filled with exciment and joy that I'll be seeing.
I'm not scared or worried about the future anymore; but, ready to face anything that will come
because I'll own every moment I have and make them truly mine.
I'm the one who will control the future by appreciating present and love every moment.
and one day, I hope to do this with a special person.
