48/100 (04.17.09)

Let's see....
it's 48th day of the trip

so what have I been doing so far?

-------------------------------------

Chicago was pretty sweet...

I met with Mr. Nagai and his family

a cute little family haha...


Mr. Nagai was the photographer for the church in early days

all the photos I saw on the posters and books... and all the stories....

Those were all his works...


It was my honor to actually meet with the person who has seen everything

that's something I have been wanting to see and feel for such a long time.

I really wanted to know what kind of feeling it was to be able to meet with TP

and hear them talk directly to me...

to be able to see them in person

very closely

and work directly for him and with him

hmmm....

but from those photographs Mr. Nagai has shown me...

I felt something

not just oh! that's where it was at...

Oh! that's what happened!

no... it was more of seeing in person...

I felt like I was in there with all the crowds

and seeing him and hearing him in person


That's something I've been feeling lately

I try to see my self in the images

and try to imagine how it was like to be a part of it

-----------------------------------------------------


So, we drove from Chicago to St. Louis, MO

and now in Denver, CO


Spending couple days in St. Louis was pretty sweet.

I got to see my cousin and his wife

had good talks...


man... what a cute couple!

haha I'm so jealous~~

of course I didn't tell him I was jealous but I was... OH WELL... hahahaha


seeing Namkyun hyung was pretty fun

Hmmm

I have so many cousins.. but never had time to see any of them

just because we were always far away from everybody

and we came to the States

Namkyun hyung's family was the only family we had in the States but they lived in Cali

and we lived in Jersey...

coast to coast..

TOOO FAR

oh well

it's been a while but it was great seeing him again

right now

he's going to SLU med-school

not Washu. but SLU!

played winning eleven with him and bet on every game we played

went bowling together

I bowled 187 for the first time in my life! haha

wow... what a fun!


Thank you so much for everything!!

and Good luck!!!


---------------------------------------------------------------------

we left St. Louis and started to drive to Denver, CO

on the way to Denver we stopped at a small town called Concordia, MO

the weather was amazing

and it was a very quite little town where everyone knows each other...

Justin and I were looking for a park to do our daily exercises and ended up in that town.

the highschool team was having a baseball game.

I've never actually watched a baseball game in person

but it was pretty interesting

just like all of those 'high school football movies'

all of their dads were there telling them what to do haha

I met with 4 little kids at a play ground while I was doing the push-ups and jumping jacks...

I remember two of their names...

Logan and Jennifer

9 year old boy and 12 year old girl

Logan was from Texas, but didn't know where

I showed them my photos and gave them a little card

it was just a card but they really loved it.... hmmm

very pure... very innocent....

all they do is enjoy their lives and loving their life... and appreciating the beauty...

I really wanted to photograph them... but their parents were around

and didn't want to get in a trouble so... maybe next time!



yeap yeap yeap

so we got to Denver today....

that was a fun drive!

but it's getting too long so maybe on next post!

Realization

45/100 (04.14.09)

On the way to St. Louis, MO

stopped at a town called McLean, IL...

very tiny farm town

lots of old rundown houses and barns laying around here and there

I made a stop on "N. 300 East Road"

I wanted to take some photos there


while I was taking some pictures of the barn

I saw a bird flew in and out

it happened so quick so.... I wasn't able to get a shot.

so I decided to wait...

wait till that bird fly back in to the barn

so the waiting started

waited 5 minutes...

my body started to get really cold

it was about 38' outside

but it was windy

really windy...

and very cloudy...

and gloomy...

[my favorite kind of weather

just because the lighting is very even.... haha]


I was so stupid and didn't bring a jacket with me


but Justin drove off to check out some other places...


so the waiting continued...

10 minutes passed

I started to make bird noise...

of course... the birds aren't that stupid

they won't come near me because i'm trying to make birdy sound...

another 5 minutes passed

and I'm still waiting

at same spot

afraid to look over thinking the bird might fly in and out while I'm looking away


so I started to pray

please...

the lord of bird

let this bird fly in to the barn...

still nothing happens...

another 10 more minutes passed by...

and I'm still waiting

looking at the same place...

waiting for the bird to fly in...

I started to listen

listen to the wind

the sound of grass

sound of birds

and every little sound that was coming

I started to focus

that was very interesting and exciting moment

I started to hear everything

the cars driving by miles away

snakes going by me

birds flying in the sky

I felt like I was conducting an orchestra

what a feeling


standing at one spot for 30 minutes

I started to forget how cold it was

and still waiting for the bird to fly back in


I don't know...

waiting... and waiting...

not even sure if that bird is ever going to come back...

but I'm still waiting

hoping for the bird to fly back

hoping to get one picture of the bird

another 5 minutes passed

Justin came back

and as soon as he came back

the bird showed up!!

but she flew right back out...

maybe she thought I was trying to harm her...

with great hopes of her coming back

I stood there...

few minutes passed by and the bird came back again!!

and this time she posed for me

for few seconds...!


What a feeling!!!

I got pictures!!

I don't know if they are even good enough

but I got it

Breakthrough!!!

accomplishment...

it was only 35 minutes of waiting...

but wow!



I started to think...

I've only waited for 35 minutes...

God's been waiting for thousands of years...

Father's been waiting for us

waiting for people to realize

and come out of their shell

and start make the change

change themselves

and

change the people around them

to understand the reality

hoping one person to stand up and 'say'

and lead...


I want to be the one

I'll be the one

That's right!!

ChiTown

42/100 (04.11.09)

Second day in Chicago...
Didn't get to see "CHICAGO" yet...
maybe I have...

It's very different from the cities I've been to so far.

People here seem very different

Just from the people I saw in the city...

Only thing that's similar to other cities are that

people are running

they are exercising

I have not seen anyone in Texas running

no.. I have

I have seen people running

anyhow

People dress differently from NY or Boston...

it's so much colder and windy compare to other northern cities...

----------------------------------------------

On the way to Chicago,

we made a stop at Indiana Dunes Park by the Lake Michigan

walking up to the beach at Lake Michigan was something else...

it was around 7:30 so we were able to see the sunset.

It was a very cloudy day... not the rainy cloud

but very soft cloud covering the sky

The sunset by the lake was gorgeous...

It wasn't extremely red - orange color of "SUNSET"

it was more of very light pastel baby blue - purple

very calming color...

color of mom...

I don't know if that even make any sense

but I thought of mom... looking at the sunset

someone who can understand everything and will just love you

all they would do is love you...

that was the feeling I had at the moment

very warm and gentle... hahahaha


anyhow

the great lakes!!

big body of water...

and it was just fresh water!! LAKE!! not an ocean...

seeing that big water

but it didn't smell salty... not like ocean salt water...

haha I LOVE IT!!


----------------------------------------------

so right now...

I'm sitting in a car at a park...

Justin's outside talking to his friend

and I was out there looking around...

I saw two little boys and their dad playing baseball...

what a great picture that is...

Dad playing with his kids on a weekend

that's something every little kid wants


I started to think of my childhood...

when I was those boys age... maybe between 7-10

those two little boys reminded me of my brother and I

older one (me) chubby not athletic at all

little one (my bro) fit, active, and very athletic.

only different thing was...

our dad wasn't around us to play with us...

to play catch with us...

that's something my brother and I wanted

to have dad with us on weekend or any days to play with us

but he was a very busy person

being a pastor... weekends are ofcourse the busiest for him

and during weekdays, he was outside witnessing, visiting members

all that pastor business....

So it was just my bro and I playing together

played catches with each other

we did everything together....

we were more like friends than brothers sometimes.. hahah


of course, we fought alot

but we were pretty tight


seeing those two boys were like looking at myself and my brother

I tried to play sports with him but he was always better than me

He was so much better and quick

I just couldn't be like him....

but I enjoyed that so much.

Because I had someone to play with

someone to spend time with...

that's my brother

up to now...

we do alot of things together

we sleep on the same bed haha

we always shared everything growing up

room of course

we used to wear same clothes

mom would go and buy a shirt for me but at the same time,

she would grab a exact same shirt but just a little smaller

haha

and now...

we are almost same size so we do not have to buy two different size of

same clothing haha I would buy a shirt and that would be his

and his clothes will be mine


man...

anyhow

I've been having alot of time reflecting and thinking

but now it's time to go out and make work!

So tomorrow...

I'll ask people

I'll get at least two people to participate in my project

and... I'll have 100 people by end of this trip...

I promise...

so far I don't have many

but I will!

Once I'm in the zone of taking pictures and talking to people

I know I can work that magic!!

40/100 (04.09.09)


The Trip is now back on the road.

12 Days in Jersey... longer than I've wanted...

but it's all good. since experience there was well worth 12days of staying.

knowing that there are always people there to go back to see....

meeting new people, new people that change my path of life.

guiding me to a higher and better road...

It's always amazing to know that I'm not the only person living on this world.

There are better people with better purpose...

Just knowing that I can be help to them...

Knowing I can get help from them when I need...

It's amazing feeling and satisfaction when I know I'm not doing this for my selfish reason

but for others... and there are more than enough.. no! there are countless numbers of people who are doing the same...

No! More than I can imagine...

and Knowing that I can always be little help to them...

I feel so grateful...




more than 1/3 have passed..


I am struggling myself...

I can't lose my focus

I need to get myself together

it's not luxurious trip

it's not joy trip

it's the trip I want to challenge myself

to see different things....

I am meeting people...

but to meet the ones I met.. I didn't have to challenge myself...

I met with people I had contact with...

they are not total strangers...



:LKJAEOIHFO{IHE"LK J!!#2q038 p(#_H Q(_H!5!!!!!!

that's how I feel right now...

I shouldn't

but I do........

What a Day!!

37/100 (04.06.09)

What a Day!


Justin met Justin today.

Justin Matos & Justin Kim

two amazing musicians

I want to know how that feels....

to meet a person.. and create something incredible from nothing...

musically or in anyway...

watching them two play

maybe that's how God felt when He created this world...

I mean... I don't know the feeling directly since I'm not the one who played with them...

but just by listening them jamming together and singing along...

I was able to feel that excitement.

Two young people...

Two young and musically talented people...

Two young, musically talented, and focused people...

Two young, musically talented, focused, and loving people

can create and will create something that's so beautiful...

it will make people shed tears....

tears of joy... tears of happiness... and tears of beauty....


------------------------------------------------------------

CandleLight Inn in Westchester NY

amazing place!

wow...

I've never had to wait "2 hours" for my meal...

I mean... I literally had to wait 2hours on MONDAY NIGHT!!!! to get a table..

Yes. it is a very tiny place... but that place was packed!!

but that 2hours didn't feel that long since I had my company

great people to talk to

2 hours flew by and we got a table on the very corner of the restaurant

5 of us...

ordered 70 wings

3 plates of waffle fries

extra large onion rings

wow...

BEST WINGS EVER

I eat my wings... I love my wings... I need my wings... and their wings were

Gorgeously tasteful

couldn't even talk..

I didn't need to talk... that's what it was

we didn't have to talk to tell each other how amazing that tasted!

haha

best feeling ever~!!

service... eh.... but I understand

the whole atmosphere there... they weren't there for the service

everyone was there for their food!

you get big pitcher of iced water

big stacks of napkins

a bowl to through the bones out to....

and that's it!

if you have your hands and if they are working.... than that's all you need!

http://buffalowings.wikispaces.com/Candlelight+Inn
http://www.yelp.com/biz/candlelight-inn-scarsdale


oh they don't take "Cards" you must have Cash!!


------------------------------------------------------

what a day!

great company

great food

and great music! "LIVE MUSIC"

can't beat those combination!

Restart.

36/100 (04.05.09)

Time for me to restart....

36....

1/3 has passed

according to my plan... I should have 36 ppl added to my project... one person a day...

But

sadly.... I didn't get that many people so far....

I need to recharge myself, refuel myself....

-------------------------------------------

Today was an amazing day....

I was honored to meet IJN again

hear her graceful voice

and listen to her amazing dreams and hopes...

gives me goosebumps every time I hear her speak.

"Best Kept Secret"

I want to be the person who can represent...


hearing lots of Jersey people speak gave me different perspective

it's definitely different compared to Texas.

but in a good way....

I enjoyed listening to them....

maybe that's why InJin Nim does it also...

different types of people with their own ideas of themselves... and dreams


I want to hear more....

I want to learn more....

more about people.... not just people around me but anybody I see....

I want to be able to read them... and hear them....

Day 35/100 (04.04.09)





Today is 35th day of my trip...

and it's been a week since I came to Jersey

I had so much things I wanted to do here...

I don't feel like I have accomplished everything I wanted to do...

but at least I've tried..

and gotten some positive feed backs from the places so that's good... I guess...



I was hoping to have alot of people added to my project but...

I didn't get so many from the city...

I might have to change myself...

I need to change myself...



I started this trip to challenge myself and to get out of my comfort zone...

but this is getting really comfortable for me

because I'm not pushing enough.

I tell myself I will and I try

but I get scared and intimidated...



TIME TO CHANGE!!



----------------------------------------------------------------------------



This week has been pretty sweet.

Starting Monday and today, Saturday

Meeting with some of my old friends

having some relaxing time

checked out some amazing works


it's always great to see the works that I get inspire

I don't know...

it's weird... I love everything...

I love painting, drawing, music, and any form of art... they are truely amazing.

but for me to feel inspired.... it has to have people in them...

even the photographs....

I love and appreciate everything.... landscape, still life, and all...

but the ones that involve humanism... something that deals with people...

just like the one from last post... amazes me...!

I love seeing the emotions in the work...

I want to be there

I want to be able to talk to the people inside...

Hear their voices...

Look into their eyes...

but through other poeple's work. I find my self standing right by them...

and hearing their stories....

amazing feeling!

but very sad....

can't stop crying sometimes...

I hear their stories in my head... and they are just too painful.... and sometimes very gorgeous....


-------------------------------------------------------------

walking in New York City....

I walked by so many different people

people from differnt part of the world.

people with different purposes...

people with different destinations...

people waiting for something

people rushing to get some place

people wandering around... trying to find a place to go....

people sitting in the corner... waiting for the tourists to drop a coin...

people on the street trying to get their business flowing...

and myself.... watching everyone of those people....

trying to figure out where I fit in...

trying to figure out if I can handle that...

I didn't get the answer yet....

I have so many more places to go

so many more people to meet....

I'll figure it out later if there's one place I want to be in...

but for now....

there's not a place I want to settle down...

not untill I realize what I really have to do with my life...

I mean... I know what I have to do.. but to fully understand the other's opinion about my work.

than...

I can find a place to come back....

Remembering the 'first times'

31/100 (03.31.09)



It's been 31 days since I started the trip.



Today I went to the city to check out some galleries and walk around to see if anyone's interested in participating my project.

Waiting for the bus on Broad Ave. and Fort Lee Rd. in Leonia...
I was some what weirded out... because I saw more Korean people walking around in the town than any other people... at some point I thought I was in Korea because of that reason.

I used to live here... not so long ago...

but I have changed...

on the bus to NYC.. I saw so many familiar places...

but they seemed too strange to me...
I am not from here anymore...

walking down the 8th avenue towards 24 street to goto Bruce Silverstein Gallery...
I passed so many places that I used to walk everyday when I first came to America...

NYC was the first place I lived when my family moved to the states.
we lived on 8th / 34th the New Yorker Hotel....

I went to my first school here in the states on 8th / 25th
place called "St. Columba School" a small catholic school...

I played a very first basketball at that school...
no I didn't play basketball...
I was made fun of by the kids...

I've never played basketball in Korea...
and one time
some of the kids gave me the ball and asked me to shoot...
I was kind of watching them play so I tried to imitate their dribbling and shooting...
I made the shot... and I thought I did well
but they started laughing so hard....

so I went straight home....

that was my first time playing basketball.....

but in school, I was some what famous.. haha
because at the time, everyone was into Jackie Chan and Jet Li movies.. and they were trying to copy the jumps they do in the movies and do the kicks...
and of course just like every other Koreans... I took couple years of TaeKwonDo and HapKiDo..
so I knew my kicks and jumps... which made me a Korean Jackie Chan...
everytime they saw me walking down the stairs they asked me to jump down....
and when we were out side on the play ground, they asked me to do some kicks...
now I think of it...
they were still making fun of me...
oh well.....

I really hated my school in the city...
I did not speak any English...
I did not understand what anybody was saying..
Every little word they say sounded like they were talking bad things about me...
I wanted to just walk out of the class everyday...

Being an olny asian in the class...
only person to not speak English...
sucked...
and I was the shortest in the class....

oh well....


When I was in NY / NJ
I didn't know I wanted to be a photographer...
I didn't know anything about photography
or never thought of taking pictures... nope...

but the funny thing is that...

B&H one of the biggest photography shop in the states was right next to where my dad used to park his car... around the corner from where I used to live...
I walked by that building at least 4 times a week... and never have entered....

School of ICP one of my favorite place to get in....
on 6th/43rd
is on the same block as the church I used to go to...
I never knew that place exsited...
I walked by that building at least 3 times a week... and never knew what that place was.....


-----
I visited 2 galleries today
Bruce Silverstein and Aperture...

Bruce Silverstein (535W 24th St.)
had E.O. Hoppe and Andre Kertesz
I don't think I've ever seen E.O. Hoppe's work...
I've seen quite few of Kertesz works though....

looking at those pictures for hours gave me a very weird chill....
at one moment, I was in the photo...
I felt like I was there with Hoppe... while he's photographing...
I saw more than just one little frame of an image...
I was there to take that exact same photo...
I was amazed by his perspectives...
and same with Kertesz...
two very different photogrphers...
but I felt the same while seeing their work...
I wasn't just looking at the photographs but I was feeling them...


I went to Aperture(547 W 27th 4th floor) after....
they had Intended Consequences: Rwandan Children Born of Rape by Jonathan Torgovnik
http://www.mediastorm.org/0024.htm
go check that out!!! what a project...
I spent good 3 hours reading everyone's stories and looking at the portraits...
watching the video...
couldn't stop crying
and I was very disturbed by the stories...

each woman had their stories to tell...
not a happy story...
but something that needed to be told...
and Jonathan brought all of them together... what an amazing work!
http://www.aperture.org/gallery/
They did not make the choice to be a mom
they did not make a choice to lose their family members...
they did not want the genocide to happen...
all they wanted was to let go...
and to be saved...
to have a happy life...
but not anymore....

many of them are HIV positive because of Genocide and what happened during the time...

that's not something I or anybody would want to see...
and imagining to go through....

During interview Jonathan mentioned...
all the photojournalists are the activists... and it's hard to make the boundaries between them...

I... want to be one of them...
not just to make people aware of what has happened or what is happening...
but to make those better and bring it to the level where I can help...

I want my works to have that kind of strong sense of humanism... and power...


what a day...

too much to think in one day...

I didn't get to photograph anybody but... oh well
I'll try tomorrow
and on and on....